America’s Test Market

Allow me to elaborate. You know how towns like Greensboro, North Carolina will have weird shit on their McDonalds menus that the rest of the nation doesn’t? Like the McOstrich Deluxe or the Samurai Grimace Wasabi Shake or whatever? That’s because Greensboro is a test market, a.k.a. a geographic area specifically chosen to assess the feasibility of a product or service before a potential wide-scale roll-out.

Armed with this information, you’re likely thinking, “Come on. Same-sex marriage is a far greater issue than a new kind of burger/dairy beverage combo, as groundbreakingly delicious as that burger/dairy beverage combo might be.” And you’d be right. Which is why, when it comes to this watershed issue of our time, one riddled with potentially divisive implications, America has a much larger, more comprehensive test market at its disposal.

It’s called Canada.

The Huffington Post’s Seteven Shehori says that despite Canada’s marriage for all, it’s still “business as usual” — “In fact, things are pretty much exactly the same as before the law was passed. Hockey has remained the greatest sport created by man. It’s still soul-crushingly cold up here between October and April (read: May). And we continue to hold the patent to that pretty cool robot arm thing on the Space Shuttle. The only difference now is that, on occasion, we’ll come across a dude who’ll say, ‘Hey, meet my husband Miguel,’ instead of ‘Hey, meet my partner Miguel.'”